The Lonely Masker


It’s June 2021. Hand in hand, President Harris and VP Whitmer announce in perfect two-part harmony that because of our good behavior, we will be granted a brief lockdown hiatus in order to receive more rations. You put on your mask, show your papers to the Pandemic Officers, and get into your car, remembering to leave your mask on even though you’re by yourself. 

Now hopefully we will stand up for our freedoms before all that happens, but the last part is something we still see. I don’t know about you, but I see this every single day: the person in their car, alone, mask fully donned. Why? I’m often very tempted to ask them what they think the mask actually does, but I don’t know how to initiate that conversation without following them like a psycho. The “why” is quite simple. Fear-mongering. The media has realized that they get more viewers and clicks when they declare that the sky is falling and we’re all going to die. Not only is the Orange Man bad, but there is now a virus that kills every living thing in its path. Stay tuned for more at 11. The CDC, which I would like to think we can all agree is a fairly credible source, reported that only 6% of all COVID-19 deaths were caused solely by the virus. The other 94% had contributing factors such as heart disease or diabetes.

Sounds like we should still wear masks, right? Sure. But what does a mask do? Contrary to the seemingly wide-spread belief, the mask you made from old boxer shorts will not keep you from getting the virus. Even N95 masks do not guarantee this. Masks are useful in containing your spittle created from talking or coughing, which is the main transmission method for COVID-19. If you’re wearing your mask in your car, all you’re doing is fogging up your glasses. More importantly, you signal to your peers how little you know about how the virus works and how easily you obey orders without question. 

Yes, we can laugh at these people and brush it off because they’re dummies. But we need to recognize that this is a problem. There are people out there functioning without even the baseline of necessary information. These people vote for public policy and office. Is that not dangerous regardless of what side you might be on? The average person gets their info from either Facebook or the main news outlets on tv, and those news sources have a vested interest in keeping you coming back again and again. How do they achieve that? They imply that without their updates on COVID-19: the deadliest disease the earth has ever seen, you will catch it and die. If that’s all the info you’re getting, of course you’ll be terrified. Tell us, news sources, please. How do we survive? MASK MASK MASK LOCKDOWN LOCKDOWN LOCKDOWN. It’s not a huge logical leap to then see people driving alone wearing masks and Amazon exploding as the biggest company in the world while the mom and pop store down the street goes out of business.

Stop being a liability to society. Learn and decide for yourself. 


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